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A Reliable Wife - Robert Goolrick

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Well THIS was the most boring book about sex I've ever read.


Truitt advertises for a wife in the papers because he lives in Nowhere, Wisconsin, and then Catherine comes to him, and he is like, Ugh, you are not the plain woman whose picture you sent me, and she is like, No, I am insanely beautiful, but I have a secret plan and do weird things like throwing my beautiful clothing out the train window and sending you a picture of my cousin (I think?) instead of myself, and this is why I (Raych, now, not Catherine) kept reading, because I am powerless in the face of a good secret.

I will SPOILER that secret for you right now and then you don't have to read this, because it is so, so boring. Catherine has been sleeping with Truitt's estranged son, and is going to marry him (Truitt, not the son) and poison him (still Truitt) and he (the son, now) will inherit his (Truitt's) many moneys, and also his widow.

Aren't they just.

Only Catherine the Reliable Wife isn't Catherine from East of Eden  (or Catherine from Wuthering Heights) for that matter, so she isn't a sociopath or a one-man woman and she starts to have feelings for Truitt and that complicates her intentions to poison him, and all this SOUNDS very dramatic and salacious and like it would peel my potatoes, but it is full of adjectives and I just, I can't.

Because Truitt is obsessed with sex, and the book talks a lot about that (not about sex, but about how fixated Truitt is on it, which is a more interesting angle except that it's like, He thought about sex all the time. Yes, he did. Morning til night. Childhood til now, in his old age. Here are the things he thought about, and how often he thought about them. So much, he thought about it). It also talks a weird amount about gardens, and scenery, and furniture. And then, hey, Truitt still wants to see Catherine naked.

Still horny? Just checking.

I read the book maybe a week ago and I totally forget already whether she poisons him in the end and I aggressively don't care.

Four caterpillars.

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